I feel like I’m never good enough for anyone. Not even myself. But my uncle told me something I never heard from my own parents..that if I want it bad enough, I’ll get there because I don’t have to follow everyone else’s path. I may not be the smartest student, I may not have all A’s, I may in fact, have more C’s than I should in college, but you know what, I’m going to be a Physical Therapist one day. Even if it takes me a few extra years. Because I know I work hard and sometimes life doesn’t go as planned..but I can’t stop now. I’ve gotten so far..I’m still in college. I’m still working my ass off to try to compete, I’m still positive (for the most part), I think beyond my years, and most importantly, I try to help others in the process of my own struggle.
I just wish my parents were there to support me instead of telling me they regretted having me or that I was a waste of time. You know what mom and dad? Fuck you. Because one day, when I finally get to the top, you two WILL NOT be thanked. Who treats their kids like this anyways? If you didn’t want me, you should’ve aborted me. Anyways..if any of you have parents who tell you you’re worthless, don’t listen to them. Use that as a motivation instead. They just don’t understand how tough we have it in our generation and that’s okay. They can’t dictate your future. Only YOU can. You choose your path. Nobody has any right to belittle you. Including your blood. Blood may be thicker than water, but I’ve come to learn these past few years that I could rely on my friends more than I could my family. And you know what? I’m alright with that. And you all should be too.
I don’t know why I even bother to keep checking because if you’re happy, whatever. Do you want a pat on the back or something? I mean the amount of shit you keep posting about your ugly new girlfriend makes me wonder what you’re trying to get at. I don’t need to rub it in your face that I’m happy. Because its your fault you keep checking on my personal blog. As well as my main one. You’re clearly trying to get under my skin by saying dumb shit like how this new girl makes you feel good and that you don’t have to babysit her or that nobody you’ve ever dated comes in spitting distance of her.
Cool. Glad you found someone who you feel is as perfect as can be. You don’t need to talk shit about your exes in order to put her on a pedestal. That’s immature as hell. You wanna bash me? Fine. Do it in private and to let your anger out. Not direct it at me to try and pull me under. When I talk about Tyler, I talk about him in a way that doesn’t compare him to anyone else because he’s not you or Ian or Garrett or whoever else I’ve dated in high school. I’m beyond that now. And it’s not like I’ve been shoving it in your face about how amazing he is even though he is. I post most of my pictures with him on my Instagram and on my Facebook. Both are private so you can’t feel butthurt about how good I’ve been doing with him.
For you to try to attack me behind a computer screen makes you look WEAK. I could care less if you’re marrying another person and working on cars together like gay faggots. I’m not worried about her because she isn’t competing with me for Tyler. I sure as hell isn’t competing with her for you because I don’t want to be with you.
A few days ago you talked about how you still loved me and how you were upset by the mere fact that we can’t be friends. And you also mentioned that it sucks seeing your “best friend” with someone else, but you’re glad that they’re happy. And now you’re talking shit and trying to put me down by comparing me to a girl I don’t know and don’t care for. You’re obviously still upset. And quite frankly, you need to get over it. It’s been over a year and we are NOT getting back together ever because why would I want to get back with someone who talks bad about me to a stranger who knows nothing of who I am and what I’ve been through? That’s not an attractive trait.
When I first started talking to Tyler, he never talked bad about Haley unless I asked directly about what she did and if he hated her. That was a very likeable trait. We are no longer in high school. You’re in the Air Force now and you claim to be so grown up, but look at how you’re acting. I get that you’re bitter, but there’s other ways to get passed that. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you decided to follow me and somehow you found my personal blog. So don’t try to seek sympathy from me by trying to make me feel bad about myself. Because I don’t feel bad. I felt it once, but I grew from it. I took the past and put it behind me so I could move forward.
I had a brand new start with Tyler. I had one episode where I acted out and repeated an anger that I had with you. That was one time and since then, he and I worked hard together to overcome our worst because I’ve seen his bad side too. We learned from our past relationships and made ourselves better for each other. It’s about time you did that for yourself.
I shouldn’t even be in the back of your mind because you dated Amanda for awhile so if anything she should be your most recent ex NOT me. I’m not saying sorry anymore because it’s not a recent event that has occurred. I refuse to let you make me feel unworthy of happiness because I am very happy with Tyler. And if you don’t like that, take your opinion somewhere else. Nobody asked for it in the first place.
I changed the coloring of the picture from before, and I think I like this more?!?
Cause I have the shittiest days ever and I feel like such a dick to people when I’m on my period (sorry, getting a little personal here).
I’m terrible with anger too..I have patience, but I have a short temper depending on the situation. I wonder if every time I get angry, my boyfriend pulls further away from me. Because I’m basically a ticking bomb. You say the wrong thing and I explode with no care about anyone else’s feelings until I say something mean afterwards.
I’m a shitty person.
I used to be friends with this one person and then it got awkward between us and now whenever I see their face on facebook/tumblr, I get pissed because I hate them now.
Stupid shit. He wasn’t all that great anyways.
All the different hair colors and looks I’ve gone through the past year O__o
Sup followers ^__^ it’s 70 degrees outside today in Denton, Texas. And I’m diggin’ my outfit of the day!
I can’t help that I miss you so much. I can’t help any of it. The longer we are apart, the more clingy I become. Because I know the smell of your scent. The scent that lingers around my nose when I bury my head into your pillows early in the mornings when our eyes are cracked open. The scent that ensures my safety in your arms. Your scent. The familiar scent from your skin when you hug me close and my nose is pressed against your cotton soft shirt. I miss the feeling of your breath against my neck in the middle of the night when you’re passed out from a long day of doing nothing. I miss the sound of your snores when you’re deep in your slumber and I’m awake thinking about how lucky I am to be yours. I love those moments of bliss. When I get a chance to lay with you for days on end and spend countless hours laughing about small things that doesn’t even make sense. We are so young, but I feel like my feelings for you can carry us for centuries. When I’m buried beneath earth’s heavy dirt filled with years of experience within them, next to your hollow bones whispering to me that we are still together, I can finally be at peace.
But being apart from you, leaves me restless. I miss you.